It was the worst of (movie) times... It's Pat!

I watched SNL in the late 80's and early 90's.  I am not really sure that I missed an episode, because my curfew was early, so I was always back in time.  Even when I stayed with friends, we watched it.  It was still funny then.  (Maybe not Belushi funny... But I still laugh at Carvey's George Bush, Sr. and Dennis Miller's Weekend Update is still outstanding.)  The reason that these shows were funny is timing... Or in some cases the small doses we got the character.  Which brings me to Pat.

The reason that Pat was funny (and yes, I kinda found Pat funny... I will be calling Pat "her" for clarity in the future) was that the sketch ended in minutes, NOT an hour and seventeen excruciating minutes later.  Pat is not a character that a writer should even WANT to make into a feature length(ish) story.  She is a one-joke show. Is she a woman or a man?  And hour and 17 minutes of that.  Oh, and not only that!  Pat is unlikable, as in a truly horrible, selfish person.

The plot (as it were) is focused on Pat, an androgynous character living her life.  She gets fired from the post office for opening everyone's mail, she barges in on her neighbor, she freaks out the pharmacist, and all this in the first 5 minutes of the movie.  Alright, maybe 10.  BUT STILL!  In her search for a job, Pat goes to a bar, there she meets Chris (I will call Chris "him in the future), also an androgynous character.  They date, fall in love and get engaged.  All while the script carefully hides both characters respective genders.  In the meantime, Pat gets new neighbors, Kyle and Stacy Jacobsen.   Through the course of the movie, Kyle forms an extreme obsession on Pat.  His wife leaves him because he is in love with Pat.  In the meantime, all is not well with Chris and Pat due to Pat's lack of job and misconceptions of what a career actually is.  Also what a relationship actually is.  Chris leaves her for taking him for granted.  Pat also takes her neighbor's job with no remorse (her neighbor is Kathy Griffin playing herself as a radio "love line" advice "doctor").  This really goes nowhere, just another instance to show how Pat is terrible.  Kyle then steps in and in a psycho move, kidnaps Pat and tried to make her strip, so he can see whether she is a man or a woman.  Not that it matters to him, he just wants to know.  Oh!  All this while he is dressed as Pat.  This results in a chase scene, ending with Kyle arrested and Pat with her pants down dangling above Ween in concert.  (Of course, we don't get to find out what she is... what would be the fun in THAT???)  With this dose of humility, Pat runs to find Chris, and they get back together and they all live happily ever after, except Kyle who is in jail.

This movie is SO awful!!!  Pat is really unlikable.  I can't even really find good clips to share.  Which is good for you... Bad for me cause I really wanna share my pain!  I can only find the longer clips, and even I am not so cruel as to share those and make you watch them.  Tempting as it is, I would live in a world of guilt.  You are getting off LIGHT!!

So seriously, if you feel nostalgic for SNL, watch Wayne's World, hell, any Chris Farley movie, Blues Brothers, or (better yet) catch an actual SNL rerun.  Seriously!  Pat came from the time of Toonces the Driving Cat, Deep Thoughts, and Stuart Smalley just to name a few.  They were much funnier and most of them (Stuart, Stuart, Stuart... Tsk tsk... You disappoint me.) had the good sense to stay away from a feature length movie.  WATCH THEM!

That's the review, and I. Am. OUTTA HERE!

GGC

(Yes, I know that The Blue Brothers was WAY before Pat... But I wanted to include it because it's AWESOME!)