It was the worst of (movie) times... American Ninja V

[Apologies for any misspellings, I was reduced to the age old technique of "sounding it out" on many words here.]

I wasn't looking forward to watching American Ninja V.  I haven't seen ANY of the other movies in this series.  And if I was going to watch a bad ninja movie, I wanted it to be an old one with bad dubbing. HOWEVER, this movie was fantastically bad.  In other words... I have found my first "so bad it's good" movie.

American Ninja V begins with a scientist in his lab.  He is excited because he has discovered a pesticide that leaves no harmful residue behind (we all know that this is fiction, right?).  HOWEVER, if this chemical is breathed in in large enough concentrations, it is deadly... (Uhhh... Guys?  Isn't that harmful?  Just askin...)
Our scientist doesn't realize until this point that he is working for the bad guy (Glock, yeah, that's his name... Well, his last name, and that is what he goes by for most of the movie so there ya' go...) until the head henchman brings him a puppy to test on (this is how we know that he is a villain,  only a bad guy harms innocent baby animals.  The Tick  taught us that!).  Glock threatens the scientist to continue his testing and we cut away to our hero, Joe Kastle.  Who lives on a house boat.  He comes home to find that his work order to have the tarnish cleaned from the brass was misread by the maintenance worker (Lisa... also the love interest and damsel in distress later... But I get ahead of myself).  She has varnished ALL of the woodwork on the boat, making it impossible to live in for two days.  She tells him that he can stay with her (did I mention that this is only about thirty seconds after they meet?) but he balks.  So she fast talks him into a date for dinner to make it up to him.

We then cut to Joe in his dojo.  (He is THE American Ninja from the title, ya' know!)  HIS sensai (Master Tetsu) arrives and reminds him that he agreed to house sit.  Master Tetsu then dumps his grand-nephew on him as well and disappears in a puff of smoke to catch his plane.  So... Joe and the boy (Hiro) drive off with Joe unhappy with the surprise of babysitting.  Hiro, we find out, is the last of Master Tetsu's ninja clan and has been closed off since he lost his parents.  (PLOT POINT)

Joe is forced to bring Hiro on his date with Lisa.  They have a great time until Lisa is kidnapped by Viper (a mercenary ninja in Glock's employ.  And YES he appears in a puff of smoke. Because he's a NINJA, duh!).  Joe fights off Vipers mooks.  It seems that Viper is just pulling them out of his pockets, but that is ok, because Joe kicks ALL their butts.  Well, except for Viper.  Viper walks away with Lisa's unconscious body.  Joe and Hiro follow some of the goons to an airfield, and hop on the plane, taking them to a South American country... I think.  I may have missed something there... But I am pretty sure that they are in South America.

Once there, the unlikely duo break Joe out of jail, fight off many more Ninjas (dressed in purple... Insert your own joke here...), discover that Lisa is the scientist's daughter (yeah, from the beginning.  His name is Dr Strobel.), and that Viper killed Hiro's father.  Hiro begs Joe to train him, but Joe is reluctant due to events in another movie. (I think his last student was killed.)  But they meditate and Master Tetsu appears to both of them telling them to team up, because they need each other to grow.  So, in a montage, Joe trains Hiro in the art of ninjitsu.  Then our heroes storm the castle as it were.

OF COURSE they win.  They defeat Glock's plan of selling the pesticide as a weapon (they even save the puppy! YAY!) and Viper is thrown from a plane.  Lisa and Joe live happily ever after, and Hiro is taught the art of the ninja, carrying on the legacy of his family.

Ok.  Now, don't get me wrong, this movie is bad.  But holy SMOKES is it fun!  The fight scenes are goofy, complete with cartoony music and sound effects.  The bad guys are REALLY bad.  The good guys are REALLY good.  This is a movie meant for kids, in the 3 Ninjas sort of line.  If you watch it with a sense of humor and low expectations, laughs will abound.  And all the ninjas appear and disappear in a puff of smoke.  Yeah!  Pretty AWESOME!

I wanna learn ninjitsu in a montage.  Seems like a much easier much more efficient way than seeking out a master and spending years of learning and training.  *shrug*  Can any of you direct me where I can do this?  Let's make this happen, people!

*ninja vanish*

GGC